Hailing from the hallowed hell that is Reading , PA (scoring higher ratings in the forcible cessation of life than Los Angeles ), Fifty Caliber Kiss (or FCK, if your prefer... and who doesn?t?) are a band born from a number of possible origins. Take your pick: Otherworldly conquerors? The house band at a remote Middle Eastern inn whose sole claim to fame was denying a room to a certain soon-to-be-birthed Savior and his Mother? How about - possibly the tallest and most ridiculous tale - five guys from Reading , PA out to wreak havoc on the world?s cochlea with their well-tooled brand of full-on aggro-racket? Hmmm... was it mentioned that they kill a lot of people there? Whatever creation legend you opt for, Fifty Caliber Kiss do attest the fact that the epic event took place in 2004 (B.C. or A.D. still unconfirmed). Since that time, the unholy penta-force - consisting of lead guitarist/backing vocalist Tod Sebastian, former Mushmouth and Out To Win bassist Hans Schloesser, ex foul mouthed rap artist,now string-strangler Metal J, drummer Mike Kline and the magma-mouthed Nate Faust - have been laying (even more) waste to the blistered city of Philadelphia and it?s equally flattened outlying areas. Whether sharing a stage with fellow Northeastern metal stalwarts Shadows Fall, the incomparable 3 Inches Of Blood, Unearth, The Autumn Offering, Despised Icon or a still-plasma-spouting deer heart (that was later zealously masticated by an over-wound fan - ?We got in on video... seriously.?), or contributing background mayhem in the Dave Perewitz episode of Discovery Channel?s ?The Great Biker Build-Off? DVD (alongside fellow Philly heavyhitters One Dead Three Wounded), Fifty Caliber Kiss play to kill, headgear optional. Whether your personal passion for poison comes by way of filler-loosening chords, noodle-rama soloing, chaotic rhythms or simply a singer with the ability to careen between Danzig-caliber lamentations and the bladder-curdling mating call of a crack-addled wolverine, FCK leave no stone unturned, no shnozz unbloodied and no eardrum unburst in their quest for wreck und roll domination. And now, you too can revel in FCK?s besmirched bliss without having to risk your precious patoot in a trip to Murdersville , PA. Their debut offering (isn?t ?forcible rape? synonymous with ?offering??), Armor Class Invincible, features 8 concussive wallops (hunker down with ?This Wire Cuts Easily Through Meat And Bone?, ?Protection From The Sky? and face-flaying closer ?Sink/Burn? twice in a day if needing an inverted equilibrium and a valid excuse to miss two-thirds of the work week) as well as enhanced bits that feature the stripperphobia-triggering video for ?Hide The Razor? and FCK?s guitaric duo tackling e-mailed questions from fans. Rock. Duck. Cover. Rock. Repeat as desired. Duck.