Meet GWAR. Creators of Stonehenge. Masters of the Scumdogs. Oderus Urungus, Jizmak Da Gusha, Balsac the Jaws of Death, Beefcake the Mighty and Flattus Maximus... GWAR!!!!!!!
From the official GWAR website:
"Billions and billions of years ago, darkness was all that existed. Then The Master, ruler of the universe, created the planets and everything in them. But soon The Master became bored of this and created death, destruction and war. He enjoyed watching the peons die but soon even that became boring, he himself wanted to kill. So he began slaughtering the humanoids that littered the planets face, but that too lost its fun. He needed more of a challenge, so he created God-like creatures with whom he could do battle. But soon there were too many of these creatures, and he had to be rid of them. He conjured up all his power and created the most powerful he could, GWAR was formed. This elite fighting force was called The Scumdogs of the Universe. The Master used them to destroy all of his enemies. Millions of years and millions of battles later, GWAR became more powerful and craved even more power. Thinking that they could take over The Master's throne, GWAR attacked him and the greatest of all battles began. The carnage lasted a billion years before The Master created the ultimate weapon - the Death Pod. The pod swallowed GWAR up and delivered them to The Master.
"Ahhhh, foolish Scumdogs", The Master laughed. After thinking about what their punishment should be, he finally decided: GWAR shall be banished to a miserable mudball planet called Earth...
The Earth rumbled when the mighty Death Pod crashed into its surface. Shaken and confused, GWAR crawled out and looked around. Thinking they could have a nice little planet once its cleared off, they destroyed the dinosaurs. Afterwards they created Stonehenge so they could play croquet, and weren't having that bad of a time. The Master looked down upon this and frowned, what kind of punishment is this? So to stop the nonsense he imprisoned GWAR in an iceberg on the frozen continent of Antarctica.
Millions of years later: 1980ish. Glam rock was at its peak, groups like Poison and Whitesnake were dominating the airwaves. They inspired a whole slew of new "hair spray" bands. But little did they know, all of that hair spray put a hole in the ozone - right above Antarctica! Soon the unfiltered gamma rays melted the iceberg and GWAR was free.
Meanwhile, Sleazy P. Martini was fleeing the country on drug charges, flying over the former tomb of GWAR. He picked them up and brought them back to America. He taught them how to use instruments and they learned the language from watching midget wrestling and MTV. Soon GWAR was known as the greatest band in the Universe...
Unsatisfied with being worshipped by humans, GWAR still wishes to take revenge on The Master. They discovered a way. If GWAR could summon the World Maggot, they could ride it back to the center of the universe and finally defeat The Master. The World Maggot is a large maggot that lives in the center of the Earth, the only way to wake it is to slaughter millions of innocent people. So, taking advantage of their newfound fame, GWAR puts on shows to which their fans flock. They murder and mutilate these fans, show after show, until enough blood is spilled to wake the maggot."
For millions of years, the mythical galactic monsters of GWAR lay frozen in an iceberg in Antarctica. But in the 1980, glam rock was at its peak, groups like Poison and Whitesnake were dominating the airwaves. They inspired a whole slew of new "hair spray" bands. But little did they know, all of that hair spray put a hole in the ozone - right above Antarctica! Soon the unfiltered gamma rays melted the iceberg and GWAR was free.Meanwhile, manager Sleazy P. Martini was fleeing the country on drug charges, flying over the former tomb of GWAR. He picked them up and brought them back to America. He taught them how to use instruments and they learned the language from watching midget wrestling and MTV. Soon GWAR was known as the greatest band in the Universe...
GWAR is a satirical thrash metal/punk band formed in 1985-1986 by a group of artists and musicians at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia. The band is perhaps best known for their elaborate sci-fi/horror film inspired costumes, raunchy lyrics, and graphic stage performances, which can consist of scatology, sadomasochism, necrophilia, paedo-necrophilia, beastio-necrophilia, fire dancing, fake pagan rituals, mock executions/mutilations, and other controversial violent and political themes.
User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License and may also be available under the GNU FDL.
Gwar is an American thrash metal/punk rock band formed in 1985. The band is best known for their elaborate sci-fi/horror film inspired costumes; raunchy, obscene lyrics; and graphic stage performances, which consist of humorous re-enactments of political and moral taboo themes. The band also performed fire dancing until the character "Slymenstra Hymen" left the band. Their costumes are generally made of foam latex, styrofoam, and hardened rubber. The costumes cover very little, with the rest of their bodies accentuated with makeup. They further their production in concert by spraying their audiences with imitation fluids. Most of the fluids are made of water and powdered food coloring which, for the most part, flakes off or washes out easily. The thicker fluids are made from a clear seaweed extract called carrageenan which is also used in ice cream and milkshakes. Gwar does not use syrups or stage blood because they dry solid and can damage the band's costumes. In concert, Gwar has been known occasionally to perform their encore without costumes.
Another trademark of Gwar's live show is their lampooning of celebrities and figures in current events. Targets of Gwar's humor have included O. J. Simpson, John Kerry, Mike Tyson, George W. Bush (as well as every other President since Ronald Reagan), Jerry Garcia, Osama Bin Laden, Michael Jackson, Steve Wilkos, Al Gore, John McCain, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Paris Hilton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Adolf Hitler, and many others. The band also makes frequent references to political and historical figures, fantasy literature, and mythology. For instance, the song "Whargoul" makes reference to Minas Morgul as well as the eternal warrior of Michael Moorcock. Gwar also has many references to H. P. Lovecraft themes (Antarctica, Yig, Giant Penguins, Fleshy Insanities, etc.). In addition, the title of their fifth album Ragnarok comes from Norse mythology.